Burning Man

The best day of 2006 happened this past weekend. Saturday I helped some friends with a field burn and found it to be quite a spiritual experience. While I was actually on the field I didn't think it was the best day of the year with my eyes watering, nose dripping like a faucet from inhaling a more than substantial amount of carbon monoxide despite the mask. But I now have a completely new appreciation for firemen. After we got a couple of smoke-ingesting field burns under our masks, we discovered that backburning, against the wind instead of with it, was a much more pleasant and efficient way to burn the field. It was during this burn, that I grounded myself in nature and was able to take in the beauty of the prairie fire flames.

It wasn't until after I had parked my car on the usual street in the glamorous Country Club Plaza, that I was able to really relish the experiences of the day and feel my grounding blossom. I've always felt a contradiction in living on the Plaza, surrounded by the desire for material things to supposedly help satisfy one's eternal drive to prove their the best through the material accoutrements they own, in contrast to my own personal desire, a simple lifestyle helping others in our environment. That contradiction struck me as I walked across the pedestrian foot bridge and I resolved there and then that I would be moving from the Plaza come September. There that was easy. Making that decision empowered me. The fact that I had, and still don't have, no idea where I would go, what I would do, had little importance. The fact was that I was moving out. Tired of living the contradiction. Tired of getting gawks and stares from the Plazalites, both in my building and from people I used to call friends, as to the nubby gray sweat pants and T-shirts I wear. What, I'm clothed aren't I?! Better than me running around naked, according to societal rules. But in actuality, if we all lived naked, the world would be a better place. We would see that we really are all human, less boundaries, less mental games trying to convince other people of something you are or aren't, less competition, MORE LOVE. Love would be flowing everywhere. Our country would be a more united state in the physical, emotional, and spiritual state. Perhaps mentality of war, of getting, taking, seizing power over one another would end. Perhaps the world would come together and begin to fulfill our purpose here on earth, to help one another, as a unified whole. Perhaps we would start laughing and having fun. Perhaps. Just perhaps.

But enough of that pipe dream, as that is clearly not where our super-independent-ego is driving us. Okay, okay already, I'll put my clothes back on. Geesh! I'm tired of living in a microcosm, city, country, world that lacks love. Tired of it all. So tired of the daily mental clusterfuck....Until I get back to my apartment, my space, my incubator, free from some of the material influences, but by no means all material influences. I still pick up that baggage. I did last week. The crux of last week's shopping spree was my desire to finally be able to reintegrate into this societal mentality that I don't even subscribe to anymore. I just live in the midst of it. The sole purpose being the proximity to Loose and the Kauffman Gardens. Nature, as rugged as it gets in the city, my Land.

So the question is how do I resolve this clusterfuck? Any suggestions please send them my way, and fast! Until then, I'll stick to my breath, my walks, my swims, my volunteering, my connection with the creative community, my books, my yoga, my blogs, and anything else that grounds me on this place called earth. Allowing my roots to grow. Amen.