My Head Hurts!

At least I'm being consistent with the norm by allowing all of my readers to abandon whatever hopes they may still have of reading a fresh post anytime soon. But all I have to say is that I definitely needed more than a month to recover from witnessing the utterly grotesque hot dog eating championship. And reporting on that with out hurling at all, takes skill. Lots of skill. Skill that few of us actually possess....

Alas, here I am. It's been an interesting summer, but I'm happy to report that I can see the light at the end of the really long tunnel that Susan Miller promised. She projected that August would be a rough month for alll of us, but August 29 is when everything is supposed to miracously turn around. I have high expectations for that day. It's going to be big, I can just sense it. I predict that I will either achieve enlightenment as to what I'm supposed to do with my life here on earth, or my knight in shining armour riding through the Kansas wheat fields, sweep me off my feet, and carry me to mysterious Never-Never land where everything is perfect and we will live happily ever after. Don't laugh, I know that place exists somewhere in this universe, the question is just where. Since I've searched almost every nook and cranny here, me thinks it must be in the very back row of one of the black holes. There is just no other explanation. And since Pluto has now lost its status, *I know, I'm sad too. The loss is just devastating, but I'm trying to get excited to meet the 14 other potential planets. The real question is, can Pluto ever be replaced?! He was such an integral part of our solar system, a little distant and withdrawn, but still a major player,* who knows when the highly anticipated location of N-Nland will earn its place on the Universal Astrology Convention's syllabus. Hopefully sometime soon as I know a lot of people who already have their ticket.

I guess that's what I've been up to this summer, trying to achieve enlightenment AND find N-Nland. Believe me, it's been a full-time job. And, once again, requires true skill. It's been a thoughtful summer filled with extensive searching for 'my niche'. Up until recently I was rather distressed that I haven't yet discovered it. I've been struggling with the highly overrated question, "What do I want to DO with my life?" and have gotten increasingly frustrated when after uping the ante and DOing more interesting things, I haven't had any eureka moments or seen any neon flashing lights telling me that this is the career path I need to pursue. Ugh. It's just not like how they say it will be in the movies.

On one of the many glorious afternoons I've spent on my couch pensively gazing at ceiling tiles, I was just beginning to enter 'meltdown zone', when I did a fake-out and went down the hall, around the corner, and up the stairs to enter the 'I'm surrendering to the moment zone'. It was quite a nice place to be, free of any worries, or thoughts for that matter, just lots of looking at objects, dwelling on the textures of nearby objects, and listening to the air conditioner piping cool air into my cubicle. And then, I saw the blinking neon lights. 'What?!' The people in my head cried out clearly enraged. 'NO!!! Not now this can't be happening. Shit man, I mean we were expecting to experience our eureka moment when we are in some African jungle, or in the midst of a highly uncomfortable looking yoga pose where all of our community is inverted and balanced on only three fingers, or we'll even settle to have it in Loose Park while the boss is zoning out under some tree, ANYWHERE BUT HERE!!!! We simply cannot have this be it. We need lights, cameras, and action, not to mention lots of confetti.' But despite their strongest protests, the chartruse and begonia colored lights still flashed. 'Ugh. Well, so much for sticking to the plan. I hate it when we get surprises, I feel so unprepared.' 'Pipe down, Shelia, and don't get your panties in such a wad. Whatever the boss says, goes.' Mitch quiped. 'It's actually not so bad afterall, I think it might even have real potential for Minty to be more in the moment.' Shit there go the sirens, well so much for my coming out party post.