And Now a Word From Our Sponsors

I've been crafting this post for a really really long time. Try two years. But because of extenuating circumstances, and not wanting to start WW3 within the family, I resisted. But that was back in Vietnam, where I was rather powerless and much more ignorant than I like to think I am today. Since then, I have made a number of changes which have empowered me and my voice, remaining anonymous on this blog is a significant one, and now feel confident in sharing this post with my thousands of readers. Let me set the stage....

Back in the day when 'blogging' was finding its way into Merriam-Webster's dictionary, I had just landed in Vietnam and was in a state of mild culture shock. It took a week for me to concoct my first in depth post because I didn't know what voice to employ. One thinks blogging is a great idea because instead of sending out numerous group emails, friends and family can just click on your link and read what you have to say. But I found it rather challenging because with each different group of friends, and especially with family!, I use a different voice. 'Which one do I use?' I asked myself in the blog. I explained how I had hemmed and hawed over the matter, but then decided to 'Fuck it' and just go with it. And here are some excerpts from the fan mail we received on that one....

> Date: Mon, 1 Nov 2004 16:34:06 -0500
>
> Hi Darling!
>
> Glad you found your way to the Caravelle. Hope
> it was fun.
>
> On reading your blog reports, Minty, you sounded
> a bit stressed, to say the least. Since you never
> really know all the people who are apt to read those
> reports, I'd suggest that you be somewhat more
> circumspect in your expressions. Using locker room
> language neither shocks nor interests the reader
> these days and, in fact, suggests a certain
> inability to clearly express one's self. Further,
> too much use of the first person is another good way
> to turn the reader away. Should anyone connected
> with a school where you might want to work stumble
> across one of your earlier communications, you might
> be hard pressed to persuade them to hire you.
> Talking about your fans, nudity, etc. could seem
> arrogant and egocentric at best and just a bit daft
> at the worst.

> I'm taking pains to point out the pitfalls of
> affecting a style when the affectation falls short.
> Just be you and tell us about what you're doing and
> the people and things you're seeing and all your
> readers will be gratified that they bothered to tune
> you in in the first place....

> When you have the time, your Mother and I would
> love to hear from you about any and all things you deem
> inappropriate to put on your blog site.

> We're thinking of you every day and hoping
> you'll be able to make the current phase of your
> adventure a positive one.
>
> All our love,
>
> Dad


That’s my father for you, the Dartmouth English major taking it upon himself to fulfill his higher calling in life to eternally critique my colloquial shortcomings, and honest feelings, all in the name of sounding eloquent and saving face at all costs. All hail to the close-minded societal credo!

My mother reinforced his mission with a few encouraging words of her own….


> Date: Sun, 31 Oct 2004 22:20:40 -0500
>
> Minty --
> We are glad to have heard as much as we have
> about your adventure but
> have great concern for the safety element. Please
> be careful in what you
> choose to do....

> Minty, your father and I are concerned with some
> of your choices of
> words. Using dirty words for dirty words' sake
> isn't attractive --
> especially for us older readers getting your blog.
> I wonder what Virginia
> thinks....

>Minty, you can't be serious about being in a
> cafe without clothes. If
> you're serious, what are you asking for? And, if
> you're not, everyone
> reading it will wonder what you've really done.
> Please think about what
> you send to your eclectic group of readers.

>We love you and only want this to be a safe and
> wholesome time for you.
> We check every day for word and hope things become
> less overwhelming for you.
> Please be careful.
> Love,
> Mom


Wow, you know you’ve reached a new level when even your family doesn’t get your humor. But to their credit, they have learned that with me anything, quite possibly, goes. I would like to address the issue that of all the varietals of words available to us in our expansive vocabulary, it is sometimes the most simple ones that convey the author’s true feelings the best. And there is nothing wrong with that as it is in line with literature’s Golden Rule, KEEP IT BRIEF, SUCCINCT, AND TO THE POINT! People get bored with excessive verbage, at least the people I want reading my blog. And who has time these days to read inbetween the lines? I like to think that I am simply supplying a demand for honesty and individuality.

But on a positive note, I do like how my parents sealed their heartfelt crippling criticism in love. That was a nice touch that let me know a small part of them was still on my side rooting for me.

So that, ladies and gentlemen, exposes, in broad daylight, the gnarly beast that I’ve been wrestling with for the past two years. Granted this correspondence doesn't exist, according to Buddhist tradition, and I have violated that tradition in holding on to this for so long. But it is a ginormous step for me to have enough strength to take a deep breath, smile to myself, and let go. FUCK IT, this is who I am.