Tazmanian Devil

That is suddenly what I've become overnight. Yes, I know I am a VERY intense person who doesn't seem to have a middle ground. I'm either intensely dark and heavy, or I'm intensely hyper and sucked into an over-stimulated tornado ripping through the city at breakneck speed. So, how do you feel right now? Well, I feel as though I am flying as high as a kite whose string is about to snap because the wind is so strong it could carry me away. And what's wrong with that? Um, well I'm not sleeping as my mind is in overdrive entertaining all kinds of lucious possiblities and potential opportunities. Again, no happy medium. I'm either losing sleep because I'm so stressed out and dreading whatever the next day could potentially bring, or I'm losing sleep on all the possibilities that could happen since the world is such a better place when I'm happy. How do I find my medium, where I observe everything taking place but don't get attached to anything because I put on my duck suit and pretend that the water is just rolling off my back?! That would be through your breath. Say it isn't so! That's so cliche, and I know it's true, but I don't want to believe it because I'm an American with no time to breathe. I'm on a tight schedule and need a quick fix to help me out, just give me a script, doc, and make it go away. What? There aren't some pills I can pop to make this go away forever?! What kind of doctor are you? How do you expect me to find any time to actually sit and JUST breathe when the stimulation is growing bigger and bigger and I need to keep up with the snowball? And in order to keep up with the snowball, I must be attached to it, that's a given. And how could I not be?! These snowballs are important, some even life threatening! Do you actually have the nerve to tell me that when I just sit there will be millions of snowballs going through my mind and, ideally, I shouldn't care one way or another about them? How can I not care?! And how can you even tell me that these snowballs don't even matter, of course they matter because they are my snowballs! So let me get this straight, in an ideal world, you expect me to be able to just sit in the snow, in my turquoise snowsuit, and LISTEN to the snowballs whizzing over my head, but not react to them or judge them or try to throw some myself?! And by doing this I will find my middle ground? Argh. Why me?!