Tuesday, October 31, 2006

And Now a Word From Our Sponsors

I've been crafting this post for a really really long time. Try two years. But because of extenuating circumstances, and not wanting to start WW3 within the family, I resisted. But that was back in Vietnam, where I was rather powerless and much more ignorant than I like to think I am today. Since then, I have made a number of changes which have empowered me and my voice, remaining anonymous on this blog is a significant one, and now feel confident in sharing this post with my thousands of readers. Let me set the stage....

Back in the day when 'blogging' was finding its way into Merriam-Webster's dictionary, I had just landed in Vietnam and was in a state of mild culture shock. It took a week for me to concoct my first in depth post because I didn't know what voice to employ. One thinks blogging is a great idea because instead of sending out numerous group emails, friends and family can just click on your link and read what you have to say. But I found it rather challenging because with each different group of friends, and especially with family!, I use a different voice. 'Which one do I use?' I asked myself in the blog. I explained how I had hemmed and hawed over the matter, but then decided to 'Fuck it' and just go with it. And here are some excerpts from the fan mail we received on that one....

> Date: Mon, 1 Nov 2004 16:34:06 -0500
>
> Hi Darling!
>
> Glad you found your way to the Caravelle. Hope
> it was fun.
>
> On reading your blog reports, Minty, you sounded
> a bit stressed, to say the least. Since you never
> really know all the people who are apt to read those
> reports, I'd suggest that you be somewhat more
> circumspect in your expressions. Using locker room
> language neither shocks nor interests the reader
> these days and, in fact, suggests a certain
> inability to clearly express one's self. Further,
> too much use of the first person is another good way
> to turn the reader away. Should anyone connected
> with a school where you might want to work stumble
> across one of your earlier communications, you might
> be hard pressed to persuade them to hire you.
> Talking about your fans, nudity, etc. could seem
> arrogant and egocentric at best and just a bit daft
> at the worst.

> I'm taking pains to point out the pitfalls of
> affecting a style when the affectation falls short.
> Just be you and tell us about what you're doing and
> the people and things you're seeing and all your
> readers will be gratified that they bothered to tune
> you in in the first place....

> When you have the time, your Mother and I would
> love to hear from you about any and all things you deem
> inappropriate to put on your blog site.

> We're thinking of you every day and hoping
> you'll be able to make the current phase of your
> adventure a positive one.
>
> All our love,
>
> Dad


That’s my father for you, the Dartmouth English major taking it upon himself to fulfill his higher calling in life to eternally critique my colloquial shortcomings, and honest feelings, all in the name of sounding eloquent and saving face at all costs. All hail to the close-minded societal credo!

My mother reinforced his mission with a few encouraging words of her own….


> Date: Sun, 31 Oct 2004 22:20:40 -0500
>
> Minty --
> We are glad to have heard as much as we have
> about your adventure but
> have great concern for the safety element. Please
> be careful in what you
> choose to do....

> Minty, your father and I are concerned with some
> of your choices of
> words. Using dirty words for dirty words' sake
> isn't attractive --
> especially for us older readers getting your blog.
> I wonder what Virginia
> thinks....

>Minty, you can't be serious about being in a
> cafe without clothes. If
> you're serious, what are you asking for? And, if
> you're not, everyone
> reading it will wonder what you've really done.
> Please think about what
> you send to your eclectic group of readers.

>We love you and only want this to be a safe and
> wholesome time for you.
> We check every day for word and hope things become
> less overwhelming for you.
> Please be careful.
> Love,
> Mom


Wow, you know you’ve reached a new level when even your family doesn’t get your humor. But to their credit, they have learned that with me anything, quite possibly, goes. I would like to address the issue that of all the varietals of words available to us in our expansive vocabulary, it is sometimes the most simple ones that convey the author’s true feelings the best. And there is nothing wrong with that as it is in line with literature’s Golden Rule, KEEP IT BRIEF, SUCCINCT, AND TO THE POINT! People get bored with excessive verbage, at least the people I want reading my blog. And who has time these days to read inbetween the lines? I like to think that I am simply supplying a demand for honesty and individuality.

But on a positive note, I do like how my parents sealed their heartfelt crippling criticism in love. That was a nice touch that let me know a small part of them was still on my side rooting for me.

So that, ladies and gentlemen, exposes, in broad daylight, the gnarly beast that I’ve been wrestling with for the past two years. Granted this correspondence doesn't exist, according to Buddhist tradition, and I have violated that tradition in holding on to this for so long. But it is a ginormous step for me to have enough strength to take a deep breath, smile to myself, and let go. FUCK IT, this is who I am.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Reigniting the Fire

Okay fine, my 2-month plus blog hiatus is officially over, much to my chagrin. But there is no way I'm guaranteeing any kind of consistency from here on out. That violates every bullet point of my personal credo of enigmaness. So let's just drop it right there. One juliep enthusiast recently checked in and commented on the 'Walk the Dog' post, published on July 9, which totally knocked my socks off as I thought no one ever checked this site anymore, and thus inspired me to facilitate the general public's procrastination routine by adding freshly scintillating thoughts and insights from only the finest voices in my head. So here we are, happy to report that the weather upstairs has been everything but calm.

Where do I go from here?! I guess I could fill everyone in on what I've been up to recently. But that seems a little tedious and monotonous. So to keep it interesting, I'll just touch on the highlights. Have been inducted into the wonderful world of knitting, and think it's the best thing since sliced bread. Seriously, it was love at the cast-on. KC has an excellent yarn shop in my neck of the woods, http://www.thestudiokc.com/, which has become my new hangout. The store has a very cozy feel, and the women who work there are a very nuturing and encouraging bunch. The Studio's knitting table is a wonderful place for women to bitch, knit, and bond while creating beautiful pieces of clothing. I feel very fortunate to have discovered it. *For the record, the Studio has been a staple in KC for a really long time, like ever since I can remember and beyond, so I didn't technically discover it, but you know what I mean.*

I have also gotten into Thai Massage this fall, which is SO FABULOUS!!!! Fabulous because TM goes all the way back to my SE Asia roots. Contrary to popular belief, significant roots have appeared even though that adventure is only two years old. When I was in paradise, aka Koh Samui, I'd get a TM every day on the beach for peanuts. Those were the days, while I didn't think so at the time, they don't get much better than that. So what the heck is Thai Massage?! It's basically passive yoga, where the (clothed) receipent is put into various yoga-like stretches by the TM therapist. It is beneficial for both the therapist and receipent as it helps release blocked energy and open up the body's sen energy lines. It's so great! While I'm not a licensed massage therapist, nor do I have any interest in becoming one, I don't forsee me making a monetary profit from this. But I find it quite profitable in an organic and enegetical sense. Check it out!

And finally, I've had yet another coming-to-Jesus moment in the last two months. To refresh your memories I believe the last one was when my stomach was on the edge of the bed while viewing the hot dog eating contest wondering out loud how in the world a stomach, let alone a body, can be built to house and store 53 dogs and buns without exploding?! I still haven't received any word from the big guy on that one yet, but will let you know when I do. Back to the current c-t-J moment.... I took it upon my self to share my voice with the city in response to an article I read in our local newspaper. The article was a small piece concerning a Pastor's challenge to his congregation to stop complaining and start seeing the positive attributes of certain events that take place in our lives. I thought it was such a good idea that I let the paper know, but as I signed my name and prepared to send my five-sentence response, I got overwhelmed by a fleeting fear that there was a small possibility it could be published. That would mean that my name would be associated with my voice! And then the train picked up momentum as it created bigger fears, like WHAT WILL OTHER PEOPLE THINK?! Luckily the people upstairs intercepted the code blue and quickly whipped out the auto-pilot which managed to maneuver the mouse and click on the 'Send' button within a matter of seconds. And then there was nothing else to be done. The fear lingered a little while, but then dismissed itself remembering the disclaimer that someone from the Star would call before it was published. But then momentarily reappeared when it recalled the 'but' part of the disclaimer which stated that the computer could automatically publish it on the net without my permission. Shit! What if that happens?! Okay, calm down. What are we going to do?!! Well, there isn't anything we can do, besides who reads the Opinion section of a paper anyway?! I don't, so therefore I don't think anybody really does, and what are the odds that IF your response got published that anyone you know would read it that day? Fair enough, everyone upstairs resumed to normal functioning mode as they deemed the odds were against us.

A few days passed, and then the call came. It was short, brief, and very to the point. 'Hi, is this Minty?' "Yes." 'Did you write and send that response to us the other day?' "Yes." 'Okay, thanks.' Click. I was rather miffed that she didn't give me ample time to hem and haw on the phone as to whether I really did want that published, nor did she give me any warm fuzzy encouragement that she totally agreed with me, and most importantly she didn't tell me when it was going to be published! Ugh. It can be such a cold world sometimes. Regardless, I was able to stave off the fear this time with, what I thought was a rhetorical question, "Who reads the Opinion section anyway?" Turns out it wasn't as rhetorical as I originally perceived it to be. But throughout this frightening experience, I am happy to say that I gained some strength and confidence in owning my voice, propelling me forward on my journey to, someday soon, make the same association with my blog.