A Gift for Neil Cohen

I just spent part of my lunch hour listening to NPR's Talk of the Nation and decided to turn it off after hearing the teaser for the second hour, Just how old is too old to have children? Neil Cohen promising to get down to the bottom of this and find out THE answer. As if there is just one answer for ANYTHING in life! The biggest complaint I have about this topic is, who the fuck cares how old a woman is when she decides to nuture a child in love and joy?! Age is just a number, that's all, nothing else. I'm 30 years old, but still feel like I'm 8 more than half the time. Growing old gets such a bad rap with society because of our fear. Fear of how we are going to lose our beauty, lose our independence, lose our intelligence, lose our fun, lose everything. And that can be one perspective, but another perspective is how much one will gain, whether it be in experience or memories or wealth or wisdom or beautiful moments or WHATEVER! But I digress.....

Back to my bone to pick with Neil Cohen.... Now, I know that Neil is not the producer of his own show and perhaps only gets a partial vote as to what stories get aired, if that, but who the hell is he to really be talking about maternal issues?! And more importantly, why are we talking about this when it ultimately doesn't matter?! Ideally a woman is the one who makes the decision about when she is ready to embark on the parenthood adventure, and as long as she is ready to bring the child up in love the best way she knows how, it doesn't matter what age she is. We as a society are so quick to judge others and compare ourselves to what we think is 'right' or 'wrong', when in fact, there isn't any right or wrong, things just are. So what, a woman in her 60's wants to start having a family, big deal. It's her decision, I'm happy for her and wish her the best, but ultimately it doesn't affect me in the least because I'M NOT HER. She's the only one who makes the decision, and thus she is the only one who has to deal with whatever consequences, positive or negative, that may come about as a result of her decision. This topic is almost too broad and immense for me to even address in a blog.

I just think Neil, NPR, and society in large, is missing the whole point, and that is why I would like to personally give him a purple bracelet as a reminder that he isn't responsible for anyone other than himself on this planet. Therefore, just let it go, man, let the judgments and the fear and the criticisms go, and be able to embrace people's choices with enthusiasm and happiness and joy, that whatever they decide, you don't have to deal with it because you didn't make the decision, they did. It's important to be a positive and encouraging force for one another, even for people we don't know. It just creates good karma, and that is what the world desperately needs right now. Thank God Reverend Bowen sees the Light!

It's Official, We're at War

It would take something like what happened last night to catapult me out of my 4-month blog oblivion in order to bring me back to my beloved keyboard. And I'm not talking about last night's official Democratic debate kickoff. Of course we are at war on the global front, but now I just enlisted for service on my very own hometurf. Last night I marched straight up to the front line and opened fire in the battle of Russell v. Russell, subservience v. independence, 1950's v. modern day, a whole tribe of aristocratic family lineage v. a solitary empowered female descendent, father v. daughter. So let me recount the battle scene....

Was over at my parents' house last night listening to my mother vent about upcoming immediate healthcare decisions she is going to have to make in order to take care of my grandmother, trying to offer support and ask questions when appropriate. We talked in the kitchen for a while and then sat down for a late meal with my father. My grandmother's care was, not surprisingly, the topic of dinner table conversation as well. It is a very stressful decision for anyone, but especially for my mother as my grandmother is the most stubbornly independent woman I know, which is quite admirable and strong, but can also be incredibly frustrating. My father and I responded to certain points throughout the meal to show we were following the conversation. But suddenly my father got bored and reached over and patted my stomach. What the ?! That sure as hell wasn't a love pat, because he doesn't know how to give those.

Me. Um, why did you do that?
Dad. I just wanted to see if that was you or your blouse.
Mom. He always does this to people outside the family.
Me. Well, it's inappropriate.
Dad. Yes, it's inappropriate. (in a mocking tone)

It should be noted that at this point in time there was a marked increase in the temperature around the dinner table.

Mom. John, you shouldn't do that. It's not polite, and what does it matter?!
Dad. Repeats my mother's comment in a mocking tone.
Me. Who the fuck cares if my stomach is poking out over my waist band?!

I quickly decide I need to get out of this situation ASAP as I have felt the internal volcano explode. I get up from the table and realize I need to go to the bathroom right away before my departure. When I return moments later, my mother informs me that my father just blew up at her because I left the table without asking to be excused. He then enters the kitchen and the volcano officially erupts....

Me. If you have a problem with me, then you deal with me and DON'T take it out on her!
Dad. Okay, fine, it was very rude of you to leave the dinner table without asking to be excused!
Me. Dad, I'm an adult and you can start treating me like one!
Dad. You're still my daughter and it's plain rude!
Me. Where do you get off? It was extremely rude of you to pat my stomach at the dinner table!
Dad. How was that rude?
Me. It's insinuating that I have gained weight and you don't know that I already have enough body image issues without your fucking love pats. Who who, (my grandmother), has created you into a monster!!!!
Dad. That's it. Get out! Get out! And don't come back!
Me. Gladly!!!!

It surprised me when I got in my car after such a heated exchange, that I felt very calm, energized with a slight spell of the chills, but overall very calm.

There Goes the World!

OmyGodIamsosure! Shit man, if Stephen Hawking is wanting to abort ship, we know the shit's just ready to hit the fan. http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/story.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10413598. Yes, this is ancient news, thus making this a tardy post, but since when do I ever voluntarily stick to a schedule? Besides, I've been recovering all week from the stressful life I lead, and today's the first day I feel back-in-the-zone. On a positive note, Hawking's vision of us inhabiting and trying to dominate another solar system, is only expected to take 6 years. That's on the notion, that this nuclear war he has predicted doesn't begin before then. But he's already planted the seed, and knowing our luck, it will probably start tomorrow. But how can a person, who is literally in his mind ALL OF THE TIME, be convinced that uprooting a gizillion years of our existence and evolution and hopping solar systems will only take a mere 6 years ?!!! Perhaps, that is what it would take to do it MENTALLY, but physically, and IN REALITY, it would take more than two gizillion years for us to create the quality of life we have here. Why? Because people absolutely HATE change and find it very scary. Secondly, it would take a long f-ing time to create a mass transit system, and other integral community systems. Just think how long it's taken us to evolve to Targets, beautiful strip malls, excessive numbers of car dealerships, urban condos and apartment living, work out machines, museum collections, highly overpaid sports figures, overcrowded hospitals, negative broadcasting, our narrow-mindedness in believing that there is only one right way and our religious institutions are our ticket to that one path, embrace Buddhism, skimpy fashion-and you know moon boots would be making a comeback, teen angst and convincing ourselves that high school notes are worthy of getting published in a book form of "Mortified", written by Dave Nadelberg, not to mention the luxurious country clubs we have created where people can escape the confines of everyday life on a beautiful, plush golf course or by sipping lemonade by the pool with other members, our openly-interpretative cultural arts programs including various mediums of theater, song, and dance, art supply stores offering tools for artist's to express how they are waging war on the world and then making peace with it, our destructive education system that overworks and underpays its employees, our highly-protected, but dwindling, number of national parks and trails and negative ion supplies in general, and what about our uber-sophisticated media that tells us what to do, how to think, and why we need to improve our lives with this new product, and then we would have to come up with another bipartisan form of government, or perhaps we would design a multipartisan gov where one party seeks total and complete domination and fights ugly by throwing below-the-belt shots at their opponents? You're telling me that all this and sooo much more can be created, matched, and surpassed in only 6 years?! Maybe Stephen forgot that when a new colony is started, you start from ground zero and try to make do with the basic resources at hand before you get to evolve to using the internet via computer technology. I'm seeing aliens living lives parallel to that of our brothers and sisters in third world countries. Somehow I don't think the majority of us Westerners are jumping at the bit to give up our privledged lifestyles, but I could be wrong. And you know one just won't be enough, one is never enough. Pretty soon another nut, a variety of other assorted fruits and nuts, will want to further colonize because they just want their own space. But that might not be a bad thing, as there would then could potentially be some stiff colony competition for the inter-galactic Olympic title.

Perhaps when you are confined to a wheelchair and, as a logical consequence of earning the prestigious award that Einstein, Crick, and Darwin also received, you deem it your duty to level with the public, via a BBC broadcast, in order to let them know what you really think, regardless of how far-fetched and fear-ridden your 'truth' may be. May God bless anyone who believes one iota of this rubbish, let alone acts on it.

Our Collective Unconsciousness

Just turned off Neil Cohen's NPR show in tears. He had the president of Gallaudet University, a university of deaf education, defending himself and the university, where he has been president for the past 40 years, on a divisive decision made concerning next year's incumbent president. I wasn't in tears because of any of the elements or statements that were made on the show, but the rain started coming down when I realized that this is a universal pattern our society is choosing to employ and apply to EVERYTHING. Nothing is good enough, someone is always unhappy, and NOBODY likes change. It seems as though our media thrives on our discontentment, as it results in controversy, thus createing a story, which ultimately brings in the listeners, equaling dollars. Which I guess is the way businesses are run, in order to generate an income, but at what price?! If it is fostering discontentment, what is the toll taken on by the human body? Why aren't they reporting on that?! When our media pipes through stories, most with this common subconscious thread of judgment, all day long, day in and day out, how can that make anyone feel good about their lives and the world we are living in today?!

In focusing our energy on the weaknesses and personal shortcomings of people, places, and things in our society, we are completely oblivious to the strengths and very positive qualities of the exact same people, places, and things. In this particular NPR clip, the fact that there is a university system for the deaf community, and all of the positive skills and tools it offers its students, is a great accomplishment, in itself, we are failing to celebrate. The same can be said for ANY and ALL universities in the world. The fact that our civilization has created advanced education systems offering a potpourri of knowledge skill sets, is a significant milestone for mankind. A single university, and the decisions it makes, is not going to, nor should it, resonate with everyone. We are all unique and different spiritual beings, with unique and different needs. So why do we think we are all carbon copies of each other? Our notion of there being one right way, one truth, is absolutely ludicrous. We are very diverse, and desperately need to celebrate our diversity instead of criticize and obssess about it. The same can be said for politics, religions, global warming, and the overall progression of civilization! We are getting out-of-control on a downward spiral of negativity, fear, and gloom orbiting farther and farther away from the light, good-ness, purity, and positive attributes of what we have and have accomplished in the present moment. We, as a society, are striving for an impossible ideal of perfection, that is only making us paranoid, instead of making us into better people. And I'm just wondering WHEN IS THE SHIT GOING TO HIT THE FAN?

But alas, there is nothing I can do, other than simply take care of little 'ole me. By breathing light into my life, I am also breathing it into our collective unconsciousness, and making a small dent. But it is those small dents that add up to create a positive change.

An Ostrich Went Walking On a Hillside One Day....

Actually she's running. That's right everybody, the ostrich, who is me, has finally yanked her head out of the sand and can be seen running down the beach, or hillside, as the childhood song continues on to say. The other week I took a creative writing course in Lawrence and completely fell in love with writing. I know, lately I have been falling in love quite a bit, first knitting, now writing, but one simply can't have too many outlets in which to express their creativity.

And so...........today marks the first day where I have actually disciplined myself to successfully sit down and write. And it's been great! The taste of victory is so sweet. Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself, in that this is only the first day, but a little positive encouragement can go a long way.

As a consequence of my new discipline, you all can begin to enjoy more frequent posts, I hope. They aren't going to be regular, as we all know that word isn't in my vocabulary, but will grow in number. So how will I attempt to accomplish this mission impossible? By writing, IN HAND!, almost every day. Almost being the key word currently up for debate. I know myself too well to know that if there aren't clear, succint rules in place the rules will be bent. But that is countered by another one of my favorite operating philosophies, RULES ARE ONLY MADE TO BE BROKEN. Amen to that! So it's a crapshoot either way. I can shoot for writing 7/7 days, but if only 4 or 5 happen, I'll be happy. So stay tuned......

And Now a Word From Our Sponsors

I've been crafting this post for a really really long time. Try two years. But because of extenuating circumstances, and not wanting to start WW3 within the family, I resisted. But that was back in Vietnam, where I was rather powerless and much more ignorant than I like to think I am today. Since then, I have made a number of changes which have empowered me and my voice, remaining anonymous on this blog is a significant one, and now feel confident in sharing this post with my thousands of readers. Let me set the stage....

Back in the day when 'blogging' was finding its way into Merriam-Webster's dictionary, I had just landed in Vietnam and was in a state of mild culture shock. It took a week for me to concoct my first in depth post because I didn't know what voice to employ. One thinks blogging is a great idea because instead of sending out numerous group emails, friends and family can just click on your link and read what you have to say. But I found it rather challenging because with each different group of friends, and especially with family!, I use a different voice. 'Which one do I use?' I asked myself in the blog. I explained how I had hemmed and hawed over the matter, but then decided to 'Fuck it' and just go with it. And here are some excerpts from the fan mail we received on that one....

> Date: Mon, 1 Nov 2004 16:34:06 -0500
>
> Hi Darling!
>
> Glad you found your way to the Caravelle. Hope
> it was fun.
>
> On reading your blog reports, Minty, you sounded
> a bit stressed, to say the least. Since you never
> really know all the people who are apt to read those
> reports, I'd suggest that you be somewhat more
> circumspect in your expressions. Using locker room
> language neither shocks nor interests the reader
> these days and, in fact, suggests a certain
> inability to clearly express one's self. Further,
> too much use of the first person is another good way
> to turn the reader away. Should anyone connected
> with a school where you might want to work stumble
> across one of your earlier communications, you might
> be hard pressed to persuade them to hire you.
> Talking about your fans, nudity, etc. could seem
> arrogant and egocentric at best and just a bit daft
> at the worst.

> I'm taking pains to point out the pitfalls of
> affecting a style when the affectation falls short.
> Just be you and tell us about what you're doing and
> the people and things you're seeing and all your
> readers will be gratified that they bothered to tune
> you in in the first place....

> When you have the time, your Mother and I would
> love to hear from you about any and all things you deem
> inappropriate to put on your blog site.

> We're thinking of you every day and hoping
> you'll be able to make the current phase of your
> adventure a positive one.
>
> All our love,
>
> Dad


That’s my father for you, the Dartmouth English major taking it upon himself to fulfill his higher calling in life to eternally critique my colloquial shortcomings, and honest feelings, all in the name of sounding eloquent and saving face at all costs. All hail to the close-minded societal credo!

My mother reinforced his mission with a few encouraging words of her own….


> Date: Sun, 31 Oct 2004 22:20:40 -0500
>
> Minty --
> We are glad to have heard as much as we have
> about your adventure but
> have great concern for the safety element. Please
> be careful in what you
> choose to do....

> Minty, your father and I are concerned with some
> of your choices of
> words. Using dirty words for dirty words' sake
> isn't attractive --
> especially for us older readers getting your blog.
> I wonder what Virginia
> thinks....

>Minty, you can't be serious about being in a
> cafe without clothes. If
> you're serious, what are you asking for? And, if
> you're not, everyone
> reading it will wonder what you've really done.
> Please think about what
> you send to your eclectic group of readers.

>We love you and only want this to be a safe and
> wholesome time for you.
> We check every day for word and hope things become
> less overwhelming for you.
> Please be careful.
> Love,
> Mom


Wow, you know you’ve reached a new level when even your family doesn’t get your humor. But to their credit, they have learned that with me anything, quite possibly, goes. I would like to address the issue that of all the varietals of words available to us in our expansive vocabulary, it is sometimes the most simple ones that convey the author’s true feelings the best. And there is nothing wrong with that as it is in line with literature’s Golden Rule, KEEP IT BRIEF, SUCCINCT, AND TO THE POINT! People get bored with excessive verbage, at least the people I want reading my blog. And who has time these days to read inbetween the lines? I like to think that I am simply supplying a demand for honesty and individuality.

But on a positive note, I do like how my parents sealed their heartfelt crippling criticism in love. That was a nice touch that let me know a small part of them was still on my side rooting for me.

So that, ladies and gentlemen, exposes, in broad daylight, the gnarly beast that I’ve been wrestling with for the past two years. Granted this correspondence doesn't exist, according to Buddhist tradition, and I have violated that tradition in holding on to this for so long. But it is a ginormous step for me to have enough strength to take a deep breath, smile to myself, and let go. FUCK IT, this is who I am.

Reigniting the Fire

Okay fine, my 2-month plus blog hiatus is officially over, much to my chagrin. But there is no way I'm guaranteeing any kind of consistency from here on out. That violates every bullet point of my personal credo of enigmaness. So let's just drop it right there. One juliep enthusiast recently checked in and commented on the 'Walk the Dog' post, published on July 9, which totally knocked my socks off as I thought no one ever checked this site anymore, and thus inspired me to facilitate the general public's procrastination routine by adding freshly scintillating thoughts and insights from only the finest voices in my head. So here we are, happy to report that the weather upstairs has been everything but calm.

Where do I go from here?! I guess I could fill everyone in on what I've been up to recently. But that seems a little tedious and monotonous. So to keep it interesting, I'll just touch on the highlights. Have been inducted into the wonderful world of knitting, and think it's the best thing since sliced bread. Seriously, it was love at the cast-on. KC has an excellent yarn shop in my neck of the woods, http://www.thestudiokc.com/, which has become my new hangout. The store has a very cozy feel, and the women who work there are a very nuturing and encouraging bunch. The Studio's knitting table is a wonderful place for women to bitch, knit, and bond while creating beautiful pieces of clothing. I feel very fortunate to have discovered it. *For the record, the Studio has been a staple in KC for a really long time, like ever since I can remember and beyond, so I didn't technically discover it, but you know what I mean.*

I have also gotten into Thai Massage this fall, which is SO FABULOUS!!!! Fabulous because TM goes all the way back to my SE Asia roots. Contrary to popular belief, significant roots have appeared even though that adventure is only two years old. When I was in paradise, aka Koh Samui, I'd get a TM every day on the beach for peanuts. Those were the days, while I didn't think so at the time, they don't get much better than that. So what the heck is Thai Massage?! It's basically passive yoga, where the (clothed) receipent is put into various yoga-like stretches by the TM therapist. It is beneficial for both the therapist and receipent as it helps release blocked energy and open up the body's sen energy lines. It's so great! While I'm not a licensed massage therapist, nor do I have any interest in becoming one, I don't forsee me making a monetary profit from this. But I find it quite profitable in an organic and enegetical sense. Check it out!

And finally, I've had yet another coming-to-Jesus moment in the last two months. To refresh your memories I believe the last one was when my stomach was on the edge of the bed while viewing the hot dog eating contest wondering out loud how in the world a stomach, let alone a body, can be built to house and store 53 dogs and buns without exploding?! I still haven't received any word from the big guy on that one yet, but will let you know when I do. Back to the current c-t-J moment.... I took it upon my self to share my voice with the city in response to an article I read in our local newspaper. The article was a small piece concerning a Pastor's challenge to his congregation to stop complaining and start seeing the positive attributes of certain events that take place in our lives. I thought it was such a good idea that I let the paper know, but as I signed my name and prepared to send my five-sentence response, I got overwhelmed by a fleeting fear that there was a small possibility it could be published. That would mean that my name would be associated with my voice! And then the train picked up momentum as it created bigger fears, like WHAT WILL OTHER PEOPLE THINK?! Luckily the people upstairs intercepted the code blue and quickly whipped out the auto-pilot which managed to maneuver the mouse and click on the 'Send' button within a matter of seconds. And then there was nothing else to be done. The fear lingered a little while, but then dismissed itself remembering the disclaimer that someone from the Star would call before it was published. But then momentarily reappeared when it recalled the 'but' part of the disclaimer which stated that the computer could automatically publish it on the net without my permission. Shit! What if that happens?! Okay, calm down. What are we going to do?!! Well, there isn't anything we can do, besides who reads the Opinion section of a paper anyway?! I don't, so therefore I don't think anybody really does, and what are the odds that IF your response got published that anyone you know would read it that day? Fair enough, everyone upstairs resumed to normal functioning mode as they deemed the odds were against us.

A few days passed, and then the call came. It was short, brief, and very to the point. 'Hi, is this Minty?' "Yes." 'Did you write and send that response to us the other day?' "Yes." 'Okay, thanks.' Click. I was rather miffed that she didn't give me ample time to hem and haw on the phone as to whether I really did want that published, nor did she give me any warm fuzzy encouragement that she totally agreed with me, and most importantly she didn't tell me when it was going to be published! Ugh. It can be such a cold world sometimes. Regardless, I was able to stave off the fear this time with, what I thought was a rhetorical question, "Who reads the Opinion section anyway?" Turns out it wasn't as rhetorical as I originally perceived it to be. But throughout this frightening experience, I am happy to say that I gained some strength and confidence in owning my voice, propelling me forward on my journey to, someday soon, make the same association with my blog.